For nearly 84 billion light hours (I’m guessing), this newly formed spectacle of sweet awesomeness rolled through the tunnel of thermodynamic vapors... Until a FLASH!  a BEEP!  a FLIP of a SWITCH!  A hatch opens... In pours a White Hole! ( Opposite of when a Black Hole forms (a star collapsing upon itself) a White Hole occurs when a star builds upon itself. It is a phenomenon that has yet to be proven in the court of space, but could very well be the kind of force that created the Universe, the Big Bang, or the point from where life blows forth.)

The White Hole swallows the freeze dried ice cream-cored purple planet in a lavaesque flood of soft, fatty cream. This sudden spike in pressure and temperature was the fateful blow that broke the plumpy purple planet into a physically ratified representation of itself.

It split in two, once again, and twisting, whipping its tongue’s and tail’s, fusing upon each other, layer after layer, holding on tight to its core value...To be the most unbelievable ice cream! A long metallic ore of iron guides it into a cavity of pure empty circular space, catching it as it cascades in ribbony waves of glistening butteriness.

It sang, stretched, squeezed and plunged into a pool of fresh gravity, valiantly defying its original form. There it was, still the same, but not. After extracting from the enchanted orifice of the almighty Cosmic Mother, alive and kicking, and tasting so good…it dripped.

And let out a bellowing yum, and giddy ah-ha’s and slowly opened its senses to the new world of what it is, to be made ice cream (again!).  As it drew into the luscious moo juice, splotches of golden orange amoebas danced in 4 dimensions, four times. At once, the globular gels looked static, but their splash-like shapes suggested that an intense kinetic energy was at work.

The multicolored meteors embedded in the coagulated juice were moving so fast, they appeared still, leaving a slimy shaking trail of finely tuned color in its wake. We now take a dip into the beginning. Are you ready?!! Here, the previous planetoid whorled into a bedazzling purple streak, dragging the original building blocks of ice cream in its hold, and entwined its fingers around an old black swirling softness.

Prehistoric spices coated the interior of this dark savory matter, which, if you smelled it, would remind you of your first trip to Mars. And, superb Nubulas of fortified stardust exacerbate the expansion of matter, like a sneezing citrus wedge brightening a dish of fish. Complete with a nutty snap, enriched by a jammy spread. In a time traveling twist, the Universe Ice Cream was just beginning. Nothing was known yet, except for its absolute never knowing-ness.

It was one of the first “Nows” in the space time continuum. When there was not yet a “Next”, or scantily, a “Before”, on this great Light day near the beginning of time, the future caught up with itself, in the past, and everything was present. And, you can taste it. Happy New Universe!

Story, Illustrations & Ice Cream By: Rudy Speerschneider